The "Bickering" Family
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The “Bickering” Family
We know these people. The family with the siblings who can’t seem to see eye-to-eye on anything and end up bickering over who, even now that they are in their 40’s, got the larger ice cream cone at the State Fair when they were 8 and 10 years old. (Yes, that’s an actual argument that I heard…..)
These arguments are so common and predictable that the people who work with them can recite each person’s lines of rhetoric, including the hand gestures and voice inflection, as though it were the dialogue in a movie they’ve watched 100 times.
Siblings that bicker over little things fail to grasp the affect that their petty disagreements have on the Elder Generation of the business. They feel like they have failed to instill in their children the ability to work through their differences. They also do not have complete confidence in their ability to lead the business in all areas in a manner that guarantees success. Additionally, it causes them to worry about the business more than they should since they never really know what to expect from their key people. They have this latent fear that the issues between their children could escalate and seriously harm the business, the employees or the reputation of the company.
Siblings will not always agree on their level of passion, priorities, business involvement, etc. but it is important to limit who else is privy to the exchange of these differences.
As the Elder Generation considers pulling away from the day-to-day activities of the business and handing the reins over to the Next Generation, they will be more comfortable with the transition if they can see them handling differences professionally, pragmatically and in a level-headed manner.
The more that they can exhibit professional behavior in the presence of their Elders and the entire staff, the more confidence they will have in their ability to lead the company. They can have their disagreements, but they need to keep them more private. It is somewhat like the times when we are having a disagreement with our spouse over how to handle a parenting issue with the kids. You can debate what to do, just don’t do it “in front of the kids….”
If we want the Elder Generation to be comfortable with the transition, we need to make them comfortable with our ability to handle differences of opinion.
We know these people. The family with the siblings who can’t seem to see eye-to-eye on anything and end up bickering over who, even now that they are in their 40’s, got the larger ice cream cone at the State Fair when they were 8 and 10 years old. (Yes, that’s an actual argument that I heard…..)
These arguments are so common and predictable that the people who work with them can recite each person’s lines of rhetoric, including the hand gestures and voice inflection, as though it were the dialogue in a movie they’ve watched 100 times.
Siblings that bicker over little things fail to grasp the affect that their petty disagreements have on the Elder Generation of the business. They feel like they have failed to instill in their children the ability to work through their differences. They also do not have complete confidence in their ability to lead the business in all areas in a manner that guarantees success. Additionally, it causes them to worry about the business more than they should since they never really know what to expect from their key people. They have this latent fear that the issues between their children could escalate and seriously harm the business, the employees or the reputation of the company.
Siblings will not always agree on their level of passion, priorities, business involvement, etc. but it is important to limit who else is privy to the exchange of these differences.
As the Elder Generation considers pulling away from the day-to-day activities of the business and handing the reins over to the Next Generation, they will be more comfortable with the transition if they can see them handling differences professionally, pragmatically and in a level-headed manner.
The more that they can exhibit professional behavior in the presence of their Elders and the entire staff, the more confidence they will have in their ability to lead the company. They can have their disagreements, but they need to keep them more private. It is somewhat like the times when we are having a disagreement with our spouse over how to handle a parenting issue with the kids. You can debate what to do, just don’t do it “in front of the kids….”
If we want the Elder Generation to be comfortable with the transition, we need to make them comfortable with our ability to handle differences of opinion.
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